The Filet is Good and a Tribute

Yesterday was a good/bad day.  While having the stitches removed from my back I received a call from the Dermman's office nurse (a cutie but at my age they are ALL cuties).  She said that the filet that was removed form my back was benign and all went well.  Thank you Jesus, The Great Healer.  Now just 4 more filets to remove and then all the cutting will have been completed.  I often wonder what do they do with these "filets".  It just makes me think of White Castle and how small the burgers have become; you need to eat 10 to fill up ... er medical filets ....... er lets see Freddies Fried Filets, lab tested for your protection, er ...... maybe not ...

I want to pay respects to my friend Linda.  She was diagnosed with Liver cancer about 6 weeks ago and passed on this past Tuesday.  My only thoughts are that she is now in heaven without all the problems she had here on earth.  My thoughts of her are she was a great wife, a great mother, and a great wife.  But most of all just a great person.  RIP Linda and prayers to your family; you will be missed very much.

On The Cutting Edge

I know some are waiting with "Baited Breath" to hear this latest saga.  I always wondered about "Baited Breath"  Does that mean if you want to date an Italian Girl you would brush your teeth with garlic?  Just wondering.

Went to the Dermoman yesterday to discuss the results of the 6 shave job.  Here we go.  The lab says that 5 of 6 require re-excision to insure adequate and clear margins.  A margin in layman terms are just the edge of the cut.  Not sure how much meat can be taken but it is not a recommended way to lose weight.  What that means is that Dermoman will cut some meat and send it to the lab.   The initial shave is about a 3/8 inch and the subsequent is about the size of a bottle cap and 1/4 inch deep not just a shave.   The lab takes the meat and bisects it and then each quadrant is tested and if the margins are clear then that is it.  You then just keep watch.  If the margins are not clear then Dermoman takes more meat and the same process is completed.  One of the moles on my back was "Basal cell carcinoma extending to the deep linked surgical margin".  Yesterday that was removed and I have 15 stitches.  The rest will be removed in January; one a day for 4 days.  I know the math has stumped you but the last one is is on the watch list.  I wonder if Homeland Security has a "Mole Watch Division"?   I will have to go to the Dermoman every six months.  This is a lot easier cure than the throat cancer.

I'm Back

Yesterday was a different type of day.  Just before teeing off I was called by the dermatologist nurse.  I had 6 mole shaves and they were sent out to determine if they malignant.  Of the six two were OK, three were pre-cancer and one was basil cell carcinoma.  Kind of bummed me out.  But today I go and have some surgery to remove another growth.  They are all on my back and none seem as bad as they seem,  Basically they will cut around until they reach margins (medical term for edges) that are cancer free.  That means I'll be developing an intimate relationship with the Dermatologist.  Not sure for how long but will know what the plan is today.  At least 5 visits and cuttings.  So another Christmas and back to the Little C blog.  Will keep you all posted.  BTW also received notice form the VA that my cancer was not caused by Agent Orange and my increase in Medicare premium costs.  Other than that it is great being vertical and not to have  assumed room temperature.  I will get through this as I did before with the help of your prayers and Jesus Christ.

I never doubted

I have been asked by many people how I feel about the tumor leaving my body.  I just have to say I never doubted that it would.  This Little c Trial re-enforced that Jesus was and is in charge of my life.  Two outcomes were possible; first I could get well, which I did or I could die which I didn't.

That does not mean that I am not scheduled to die but it wasn't my time to leave this earthly home and I don't run the schedule.  And look at my possibilities, its 50/50 and if I die I get a new well body in heaven and if I live I keep this body and have to rebuild.  So I now enter the rebuild stage of life.  My weight went from 183 to 156.  I hope to get back to 170 or 175 and stay there. Already in touch with the Villages health club and personal trainer. So will have to work at it. I am weak right now but today will be my first 3 meal day.  Cereal, strawberries for breakfast, eggs, bacon, toast and some taters for lunch and roast beef for supper.  I'm rolling, have to eat three meals per day before we leave for Florida.  Miss my car and golf buddies and I'm sure they will try to add the weight to me.  Once this sore throat goes away its Katie bar the door.  I dream of a nice steak, mashed potatoes, and gravy and some veggies especially some of Norm's secret Mac and Cheese.

Have one more Dr appointment next Wednesday and then none for 12 weeks.  Thats kind of nice, you just get tired of driving to the cancer center every day and getting something done that is good for you.  Makes you remember the days when you weren't feeling well and here come the Castor Oil because "it is good for you".

Good News

Just left the Doc's office, Cancer is Gone!  


Thank you Jesus!

I'm Back ...................

When I first started this blog I stated that it was not intended to be a complain forum.  That is why I have not posted since February 9th.  I took my 3rd chemo and in the hospital, plenty of IV's and then I took my last radiation and felt worse.  So no posting except to say this stuff will kick butt.

Today is March 7th and the sun is shining and it is a brisk 40 degrees.  I have started to eat real food (defined as food I ate before the treatment, McDonald's for breakfast, Yea yea yea!)  We set some travel standards.  They are that I must be able to eat 3 meals a day and be able to eat "road" food.  That way we will be able to travel on March 17th.  That will be a great day to head back. Been a long 4 months but hopefully it cures the cancer.  I can swallow now pretty regularly and am pounding the water in to flush my kidneys.  They are responding well and I have a blood test twice a week to make sure they are.  Doctors appointments tomorrow and then next Wednesday and Thursday.  Tube down the nose to see what it looks like and then will have the first of many scans in May.

Many thanks for all your prayers, thoughts and well wishes.  Especially to Jackie, thanks for all your guidance and assistance.

Last Chemo Today

No More Chemo and only 4 rads remain.  So just a short note because it will affect me pretty much tomorrow and the next day.

Thanks for all your prayers and well wishes

Today We Talk Medical

I have been asked a few times about the treatment I receive.  So as I only have 1 chemo and 7 radiations remaining I thought I would explain the treatment
CHEMO:  Chemo (Cisplatin) is giving with an IV.  In my case they IV me with 1 liter of Sodium Chloride, that is followed by a bag of Cisplatin followed by another liter of Sodium Chloride.  This process is a 5 hour process.  I should mention that a couple of days before they draw blood to insure the kidneys can tolerate the poison.  That is followed by an IV the next two days of Sodium Chloride to flush the pision from the body.  The medial term is we want you "to piss like a race horse".
RADIATION:  Radiation is given as you lay on a flat table with a plastic mask and a blanket and a machine rotatoes around the target are and shoots a radiation beam at the cancer.  I have 35 treatments.  I asked why 35 not 30 or 40.  The answer is that over time the Drs have learned that Squamous cell carcinoma need 70 "grays" to kill it.  Your body can tolerate 2 grays per day. Shazam 70 divided by 2 , carry the 1, add the 3 and it is 35 treatments.  It was also explained that cancer cells are like the teenage boys and some girls that are after just one thing; reproduction!  The cancer cell is not organized and if  injured by the radiation it does not repair itself and the next dose kills it.  Good cells if injured repair themselves.
It would only be appropriate for todays music selection that we here from a couple of Doctors First Dr John
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J8OacVjGr8o&feature=related
Now Dr Feelgood
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2IfEx6p4Ces

The Glowettes

Today was treatment number 26, nine to go.  It isn't too bad when you just get Bar-B-Qued and no chemo.  Actually when I see The Glowettes I wonder what would it be like to date a Glowette.  I'm not available but I'm kind of liking the individual attention you get as they (at least two in case you realize what they are doing) carefully lay you on the table with a neck rest that only a sick person could like and then tuck you in for a 10 minute session with your head bolted to the table. Are these ladies PC?  Would they use Frankenstein's built-in bolt or would it require extraction and a new mask?  Would they on the first date try and lure you into the treatment room under the pre-text of let me show you my mask collection and then for fun bolt you to the table.
What about that first trip to Daytona to show off my new, 16 pound less body and my tan lines look like I have worn a berka without neck protection?  Could this radiation be affecting my mind or have I always been sick in some sort of way?

IPOD Number 6     http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_YZpbYqOw4o  This tells a great story, Sly and The Family Stoned
BONUS:   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7H7OTa6ss1E

Just Plain Lazy

MED UPDATE: Chemo 2/3 Radiation 24/35


Just lazy no other excuse, I missed yesterday and now I hurriedly try to make up.  The next song on my IPOD is an absolute classic and can be interpreted in many ways as a lot of songs give that leeway to the listener.  Today is bonus day because I want to present another song that is one of my all time favorites and took me a long time to find on the internet.


First my all time favorite, well OK so I have a few:
http://www.hounddoglorenz.com/hound_sound/theme_songs/index.php#  select "Big Heavy"  This a 1953 theme song of the Hound Dog, WKBW,   Buffalo, NY


The second by the fabulous O'jays:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=52z-RzXwPNI&feature=fvsr

Still Counting

MED UPDATE:  Only 2 weeks left and then the usual wait and see.  Getting weighed tomorrow so I'll put buckshot in my pants.


Song Number 3   This Song is From Otis Redding and was released in 1965 but still holds true today.  There is no doubt this song has many, many meanings to many but for me it is the daily trials and tribulations that we face.  We just have no clue what tomorrow brings, we plan for tomorrow but that is not a given.
http://en.musicplayon.com/play?v=230074

PS Check Out This Blog, Its say's a lot more than just words:  http://bsweasy.blogspot.com/2011/01/wal-mart.html

A Day Late but Still Playing

MED UPDATE:  23/35 rads done and 2/3 chemos.  Got to eat had a bunch of stuff for supper and forced it down, easy to swallow but everything including water tastes bad.  enuff


Music today is day 2 and the number 2 song is: 


Imagine the year is ( 1955) for me and you are at the freshman dance and there she is:  the only girl with her angora sweater and "THAT" look.  Remember it's 1955 no MTV and Dick Clark was about a year away and there SHE is waiting to dance with me.  With carefully applied Clearisil and hoping Paul Pimple doesn't bust a move I in my best  James Bond manner I approach her.  It takes seven songs to get near enough to her to blurt out a hi-pitched squeaky voice Hi would you like to dance, heart pounding like a bass drum.  Of course she says "Not right now" and you wonder when when be the right time ..  er 1959 maybe.  Then you figure it out you were asking her sweater to dance and not her, so you wait and this song comes up and you see out of the corner of your eye Sam Stud, big shot senior on the way to ace you out,  No way man she's mine and this time looking in her eyes you ask again and she says OK.  Of course the prize really was if any of the angora stuck to your shirt after the dance.  Enjoy




http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ghEYpD5B3o&feature=related

Another Day Another Play

SCOREBOARD:  Rads: 21/35 Chemo 2/3


I find a lot of relief in music.  Can't play any instrument, cd player and radios work just fine except the newer ones with the 1 inch manual, can't read Spanish that well then found the English part is only three pages, (last line in case of emergency call a grandchild).  I looked at my IPOD and noticed  that it shows the plays per song.  So I thought that might be something different and explain why that song is my favorite.  Most reasons will be stupid to the normal person but to the abnormals that I hang around with it might make sense.

The number 1 is "Someone Exactly Like You by  Van Morrison dedicated to my Leader and Savior Jesus Christ.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tIrJK19dADI

The Game Continues

THE SCOREBOARD:  20/35 rads done, 2/3 chemo done.

Problem is that I have lost 14 pounds in the past 4 weeks.  Going to the nutritionist and Dr tomorrow.  On Wednesday Dr said "pee like a racehorse".  Try it on 2 hands and feet, kinda comical and breaks up the treatment.  (There is no video)  I guess that is a basic medical term to insure kidneys are working properly.  Having never seen a racehorse pee I thought I would just Google and see what happened and all I got was this lousy T-shirt!

Better than nothing but need to put on weight so tomorrow is the day.  I guess lead diving belts are not acceptable but will let you know.


Thanks for all the cards, well wishes, phone calls and prayers.

Hey Where Have You Been?

Did you miss me?  I took the chemo on Wednesday and it kicked my butt on Thursday, Friday, Saturday!  Put Chemo in charge of the Federal Budget and it would balance for sure.  Mr Chemo is something else.  But of course half of the fun is the radiation that gives you that "hey white boy been coming to beach often" look when all the others have spent their money in the tanning booth.


Much better today as I head for the next tan towards the ultimate BBQ skin.  Sir which BBQ sauce do you prefer today the Glow girls will ask and I'll just say I'll try the mustard sauce today BUT not the hot mustard.  Also get to see the Speech Therapist and I can swallow well so I don't think I'll need any therapy yet.  Heading into week 5, that means half of the radiation is done and 2/3 of the chemo.


For all of you that have been praying for me I am grateful and thankful and I re-power those prayers right back to you. 

MED UPDATE:  Neck is burned sort of like a sunburn and thanks Dr. King (Martin) I will not  have any more radiation until Tuesday and then on Wednesday I get my drugs.  Something to explain here, there are calender days and there are treatment days.  I started on December 27th, 2010 with treatments.  It has been 21 calender days and 14 treatment days since I started.  Not sure how many calender days this will take but it will take 35 treatment days.  For instance if my body is not ready for more chemo (kidneys not within a required tolerance),  I would still have radiation which counts toward the 35.  My body has to be able to say to the Doc, "Hey man give some more poison!".


Slept 11 hours last night, amazing what a good nights sleep feels like, brings back those teenage years when sunlight meant sleep time.  Now for my feminine side!  I did not think this could happen to men. I always see these beautiful women on TV sort of looking kind of lost until shazam: one glass of Metamcil and she turns into a Fairy Princess with a grin like she has just won an unlimited shopping spree at Neiman-Marcus.  Yes I must admit I have THAT problem he says as he cleverly reaches for lipstick and rouge, hey I want to look good also when the event takes place.


This feminine thing is just not what I expected, the additional shopping, the looking good part, the mirror time, and pumping up the ego of a beer-drinking, remote-control genius sitting on his  football-watching butt asking for another beer and don't  forget the peanuts.  Actually sometimes I'm REALLY tired of being The Man, even if I am only a Legend in my own mind!
END OF UPDATE


Now for some serious stuff, two granddaughters (6th and 8th grades), two tryouts for the Northern KY Select Band and whamo they are 3rd chair in French Horn and 10th chair in clarinet.  They both play pretty darn good but a sixth grader making it is not common at all.  Actually I thought the younger French horn player was the smartest because she can put a hand warmer inside the horn and keep her right hand warm during marching but alas they do not march with the French horn but rather a mellophone.  All these instruments and I just figured out that a CD issued from a bank will not play on a CD player!  Anyways the mellophone requires that you use the opposite hand than the French horn and have both hands out in the cold so I am not sure about that.  Of course I can play the radio, except that FM thing has me kind of bugged.

Bring Back The "N" Word

MED UPDATE:  Glow-Mistress gave me number 14 and then met with the Glow Docs.  Everything is going normal with dry mouth and food tasting different.  Skyline Chili now tastes bad, so I went for a New England favorite Dunkin Donuts.  They tasted bad also so I now enter the phase of treatment where the "N" word becomes so appropriate.
MED UPDATE COMPLETE.


Growing up in the 40's and 50's you would hear the "N" word so often that it was just part of the lexicon of New England like "chowda", "Lobsta", "Konn on The Cob".  We as kids heard it so much we carried it forward and as we would leave the little town we would carry the "N" word  to use whenever we felt like it and did not gave a damn who heard us use it.


As I grew older and had children I realized that some parents no longer used the "N" word but I never stopped.  It was my right as a parent to train them and they could follow Daddy's proper use of the "N" word or be in trouble.  "Daddy, why do you use the "N" word so much?",  they would ask with the craftiness of an astute attorney.  But they knew that I used it everywhere, golf course, mowing the lawn, even in front of their friends.


When my wife says how about a nice steak and mashed tater?  I want to use the "N" word so bad.


Then the "N" word was banned by all the do-gooders, so now kids don't hear the "N" word, Obama doesn't hear the "N' word and no matter what,  I want the "N" word back.  I want kids to hear it loud and clear!


Bring back the NO!

It "Thirds" Time

Yesterday I received my 12th dose of Glow Juice  from the Glowmistress.  That is considered to be 1/3 of the blasts that I need, previously I had received my first chemo drip-in of 3 which also is 1/3.

Now the problem.  If 1of 3 is 1/3 how can 12/35 also be 1/3.  My daughter is a high school math teacher and I have to be very careful when it comes to stating the correct answer.  I thought and thought, not a very long or productive activity, about ways this may look better.  PS:  My son-in-law is an English major so ......

Lets just use decimals:  1/3     equals  .33333333333
                                               12/35 equals   .343
So I have proven that 1/3 does not equal 1/3 because 1 of the 1/3rds is an estimate and the other is true.  Therefore I can honestly state that I have completed 1/3 of my treatments.

I have spoken about not wanting to play football but I never said I would not dress like a football player.  Last night I used a product called Sleep Right, a nose band-aid that I would have called Nostril Opener.  Slept great, really great ... so this may well be the beginning of my Bengal career because sleeping properly is a prerequisite especially during the game.

No PMS

PMS: Piss and Moan Syndrome not allowed here after seeing 5 year going in for his radiation treatment and then talking to a little girl about how it didn't hurt.  Kids are amazing.  My update: sore throat, dry throat now using a spray and going to the Glowmaster in a snowstorm. Down 1 pound oh wait Myra took  my wallet.

Last night laying in bed I elected myself the Law King for 6 hours.  I am so sick and tired of seeing these mass murderers faces on TV.  Major Insane should have met his maker months ago, yes I hope they are water boarding him with a fire hose.  Then Mr Sicko in Arizona.  Here is my first law:  If you use Insane or Sicko's picture in any manner, TV, paper or whatever it will cost $1000 per usage and the money will go into the victims fund.  Also if you use the picture, you must put the victim's picture on for the same amount of time.    Also the killer will be incognito until the trial is over, solitary confinement, no contact with the outside world except for attorney.  That's it and that is why I only held office for 6 hours!

Radiating Through the Day

Starting developing little "sun blisters" from the radiation on my neck and a sore throat.  Met with Dr. Chemo today and my next dose will be March 19.  That will be the second of three. Also Speech Therapist,  Ms. Quetee Pie.   Today was my 10th radiation so now I'm in double digits!  Twenty-five more and I'll be glowing like a new bride receiving a Teflon frying pan.



Hope she knows to remove the paper but maybe thats where the eggs go!  Hehehe  My good friend and big time support person is winding down her treatments this week.  She has been doing treatment since March 2010.  Thanks so much Jackie!


PS  Last week a cyber security expert found dead in a landfill, today   http://voices.washingtonpost.com/crime-scene/paul-duggan/-the-wife-of-a.html?hpid=topnews
This is a mystery writers dream

I Diverge

Today I want to address something other than cancer.


The shooting yesterday of a federal judge and representative was absolute insanity.  We have 435 elected representatives and 1 was shot doing her job yesterday at a town hall meeting. That means that 1/435 of YOUR duly elected representatives  was attacked.   In total 6 are dead and 13 others wounded by a deranged person, whether insane or not, deranged!  The spin on this is already on, some will make him Right Wing and others Left Wing.  One thing for sure: He is a murderer and deserves a fair trial and sentence. 


I listened to the news this morning and hear the following from NBC Christine Armopour show. " Congresswoman Giffords was in the "cross-hairs" of Sarah Palin's Political Action Group"   That is just the type of statement that provides the avenue for these nut jobs (Far Right and Far Left) to plan and do outrageous deeds.


I listen to C SPAN quite a bit and some of the things said on the floor of the senate and congress are deplorable. One party says the other wants to kill children, the other party says the other favor the rich, the poor, big pharma, on the backs of the middle class, the other says you are going to kill old people, take their money  and on and on!


Today on this day of worship for most I ask that you do three things:


1.  Send a letter to your representative and  the Speaker of The House and Senate Majority Leader asking that they tone down the rhetoric both while in session and out of session.


2.  Examine what you say about others as I will.  Proverbs 18:21, "Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof."


3.  Pray that our Leaders will lead by example and not by demonizing others.

Cancer and Football

Med update:  Throat sore,  hair hurts to touch,  sleeping on and off,  get rad 9 today,  see Doc,  2 days off: Med update complete.

Football Update:  Here is Cincinnati we suffer from football cancer.  For the past 18 out of 20 years we have had losing seasons.  Because of that I was disappointed in the rehiring of Marvin Lewis.  I'm sure he has more experience than me but for you I will review my football prowess and allow you to decide which person would provide a better opportunity for a winning season.

I would love to play football except for the tackling part, blow a whistle I'll stop, wave your hand I'll even give you the ball but pleeeease don't tackle me.  While in the Army, my Platoon Leader was Russell Waters.  His brother, Bob Waters, later coach at South Carolina, was 3rd string quarterback  for the SF 49ers.  His brother did not make a road trip and came to Castro Valley and "played" touch football with us army guys.

Well he threw a pass and one of my buddies caught the ball  improperly and broken finger time.  I made up my mind that I also was not a football catcher.  So no catching and no tackling.  Well you ask just what are you good at in football?  I'll tell you Bunky!

In high school (oh I forget to say I didn't like all that uniform stuff so add that to the list)  I was asked to hold the yardage markers, no not both,  my arms would had to be ten yards long.  So it's game time, I've got control of who makes a first down, I'm in the front row in front of the players, babes (didn't call them babes then they were chicks)  in the stands looking at my butt (not large I only weighed 129 pounds but stuffed oh wait I was supposed to stuff the front!)  and not the players.  I had it made I would turn casually towards the babes, wink and nod in my best James Dean impression (had a dirty brown jacket that resembled leather, collar turned up)  and they knew I might talk to them after the game and after they had passed through security (actually I'm lying about the security part) they could meet The Control Man!

All went well that first half, babes on me like a tight suit, actually more like a loose afghan but It's my story and I'm sticking to the "Tight Suit" analogy.  In the fourth quarter, the runner ran for about 20 yards and me and dummy (the guy with the other stick) moved the chains.  Unfortunately a penalty had been called and it went back to the line of scrimmage.  The official was not impressed that we had moved the chains without his permission.  Look we had done that for 3 quarters, met the babes, all the good stuff and some guy in a striped shirt starts telling us what to do.  What do you expect to happen?  Being the pro's we were we said well we know exactly where they were and went to move the poles to the previous holes.  When we looked for the "correct" hole we found many, many, many holes and some damn coach yelling in our ears we were putting in the wrong hole.

That ended my football career, no I did not letter in football, but I was and probably still am a pretty good 3/4 game pole holder.  Now what does that have to do with the Bengals?  First the amount of  holes on the high school field is about the same as the Bengals offense and defense second,  given the opportunity to "Hold The Poles" again I could probably gain more yardage then the Bengals running backs.

And they resigned Marvin Lewis, no wonder they lose!

Throat Ache

Today I awoke with a sore throat.  I made it through 7 shots before it hurt and it does hurt, so I will Tylenol it until I need the pain pills.  So now I enter the tough times but not worried about it.

Semi solved the dry mouth problem.  As you get to bed take a drink of water, slosh it around, and then sleep with your mouth closed (hard for me)  This will last for about 3 hours then you wake up lips stuck to teeth etc. Why don't they have a harness like they do for straightening teeth?

Numbers

This trial has a lot of numbers to consider; 35 radiation treatments, 3 chemo treatments, 100's (yes hundred) of notes in my notebook, 5 doctors, daily trips to the hospital, 30 miles round trip and water, man I have processed so much water Al Gore has me on the hit list.  I plan a book under the name; I.P. Daily titled Yellow Stream Fever.

Yesterday I got a number that I did not have before. Creatinine levels.  So here is OUR medical training for the day.  Not sure if they were high or low but got bagged today with a liter of Sodium Chloride (NaCl for you chemistry majors).  and a bag tomorrow.  With all these needle sticks I guess I'll have to track (get it "track it", com'on you old hippies)  We call it table salt, no it was liquefied not solidly IV'd.

Creatinine is a chemical waste molecule that is generated from muscle metabolism. Creatinine is produced from creatine, a molecule of major importance for energy production in muscles. Approximately 2% of the body's creatine is converted to creatinine every day. Creatinine is transported through the bloodstream to the kidneys. The kidneys filter out most of the creatinine and dispose of it in the urine.


So that is my contribution to your medical training for the day.

Sesame Street with Feelings

When my kids were younger Sesame Street was the family favorite.  The characters were almost human.  My favorite was not the Green Guy, or the Bird Guy but it was  (drum-roll please........ )  The Count  He counts his feelings and I thought it was appropriate  during the trial.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TJxKvwMIVtA&feature=related

Even Non-Believers Believe

About 30 years ago I was going through a tough emotional time in my life.  I would lay in bed at night and have an actual (well not "actual" out of body experience).  I would be looking up at the ceiling and see myself and someone else look down at me and I could hear the other voice say something like, "Well what are you going to do now?"  Neither myself or the person representing me had an answer.  I often wondered about that and I think I have it figured out.  It was Jesus with his arm on my shoulders saying you got in this mess now how will you get out?  I'm here if you need me.  This happened maybe 4 or 5 times and has never happened since.  It wasn't cheap wine as I did not drink and these moments are as clear as if the happened yesterday.  So  the question becomes how do I get out of this?

Many people that I have contact with have different religious beliefs than I do.  Some say they meditate, some don't believe there is a God unless they can touch and see Him, others are just feel what will be will be.  I believe God has a plan for me and he revealed it to me some 30 years ago.  I might not have recognized it then but I do now, He is not done with me.

During those years I remember being very lonely and my friend, Betty Zimmer, (RIP)  sat in back of me in church and every Sunday she would pep me up with this thought;  "I as a Christian have your back, He on the cross has your front, don't lose focus".

Happy 11111011011

Just had to do it.  I remember the old days when software was developed on a Z-80 Zilog computer with 8 inch floppies.  So there is my binary wish to you.  Hope all had a great new years eve and 11111011011 will be happy and prosperous.

2011 brought some good news.  My salivary glands are working again and I slept almost through the night.  Feel great this am compared to other days.  So I get 2 more days off and glow juice again  for 5 days.  Hey I  might start liking this.

Of all the things to write about I kind of like this headline:   http://lamesa.patch.com/articles/there-outta-be-a-law-californians-getting-725-new-ones-in-2011  The great state of Calaphoneya has a lot of new laws.   How about $100 fine for having some wacky tabacky and 1 year in prison if your kid misses more than 10% of the school year?   It is almost comical that men and womens insurance rates will be the same for the same coverage.  I know Calaphoneya is different but is it possible that men and women have different rates of illness for the same illness?  Would a trans-gender person have to pay double?

My thought of the day:  Remember that between the mountains are valleys, when you are in the valleys of life you appreciate the mountains more, here is to safe climbing in 11111011011.