Cancer and Football

Med update:  Throat sore,  hair hurts to touch,  sleeping on and off,  get rad 9 today,  see Doc,  2 days off: Med update complete.

Football Update:  Here is Cincinnati we suffer from football cancer.  For the past 18 out of 20 years we have had losing seasons.  Because of that I was disappointed in the rehiring of Marvin Lewis.  I'm sure he has more experience than me but for you I will review my football prowess and allow you to decide which person would provide a better opportunity for a winning season.

I would love to play football except for the tackling part, blow a whistle I'll stop, wave your hand I'll even give you the ball but pleeeease don't tackle me.  While in the Army, my Platoon Leader was Russell Waters.  His brother, Bob Waters, later coach at South Carolina, was 3rd string quarterback  for the SF 49ers.  His brother did not make a road trip and came to Castro Valley and "played" touch football with us army guys.

Well he threw a pass and one of my buddies caught the ball  improperly and broken finger time.  I made up my mind that I also was not a football catcher.  So no catching and no tackling.  Well you ask just what are you good at in football?  I'll tell you Bunky!

In high school (oh I forget to say I didn't like all that uniform stuff so add that to the list)  I was asked to hold the yardage markers, no not both,  my arms would had to be ten yards long.  So it's game time, I've got control of who makes a first down, I'm in the front row in front of the players, babes (didn't call them babes then they were chicks)  in the stands looking at my butt (not large I only weighed 129 pounds but stuffed oh wait I was supposed to stuff the front!)  and not the players.  I had it made I would turn casually towards the babes, wink and nod in my best James Dean impression (had a dirty brown jacket that resembled leather, collar turned up)  and they knew I might talk to them after the game and after they had passed through security (actually I'm lying about the security part) they could meet The Control Man!

All went well that first half, babes on me like a tight suit, actually more like a loose afghan but It's my story and I'm sticking to the "Tight Suit" analogy.  In the fourth quarter, the runner ran for about 20 yards and me and dummy (the guy with the other stick) moved the chains.  Unfortunately a penalty had been called and it went back to the line of scrimmage.  The official was not impressed that we had moved the chains without his permission.  Look we had done that for 3 quarters, met the babes, all the good stuff and some guy in a striped shirt starts telling us what to do.  What do you expect to happen?  Being the pro's we were we said well we know exactly where they were and went to move the poles to the previous holes.  When we looked for the "correct" hole we found many, many, many holes and some damn coach yelling in our ears we were putting in the wrong hole.

That ended my football career, no I did not letter in football, but I was and probably still am a pretty good 3/4 game pole holder.  Now what does that have to do with the Bengals?  First the amount of  holes on the high school field is about the same as the Bengals offense and defense second,  given the opportunity to "Hold The Poles" again I could probably gain more yardage then the Bengals running backs.

And they resigned Marvin Lewis, no wonder they lose!